I
find this article very interesting and quite relevant to our situation at this
very challenging period of our national life when a sizeable number of our
people may actually be depressed without knowing or making efforts to conceal
it. This article was originally written by Dr. John Grohol who is an author, researcher and expert in mental
health online and has been writing about mental health and psychology issues since
1992.
However, the
following signs might point to the depression such individuals may have been
trying to conceal.
1.
They have unusual sleep, eating or drinking habits that differ from their
normal ones.
When
a person seems to have changed the way they sleep or eat in significant ways,
that’s often a sign that something is wrong. When a person cannot sleep (or sleeps for far
too long) every day, that may be a sign of hidden depression. Others turn to
food or alcohol to try and quash their feelings. Overeating can help someone
who is depressed feel full, which in turn helps them feel less emotionally
empty inside. Drinking may be used to help cover up the feelings of sadness and
loneliness that often accompany depression. Sometimes a person will go in the
other direction too — losing all interest in food or drinking.
2.
They wear a forced “happy face” and are always making excuses.
We’ve
all seen someone who seems like they are trying to force happiness. We all wear
a mask from time to time. But in most cases, the mask wears thin the longer you
spend time with the person who’s wearing it. That’s why lots of people with
hidden depression try not to spend any more time with others than they absolutely
have to. They seem to always have a quick and ready excuse for not being able
to hang out, go to dinner, or see you. It is hard to see behind the mask of
happiness that people with hidden depression wear. Sometimes you can catch a
glimpse of it in a moment of honesty, or when there’s a conversation lull.
3.
They may talk more philosophically than normal.
When
you do finally catch up with a person with masked depression, you may find the
conversation turning to philosophical topics they don’t normally talk much
about. These might include the meaning of life, or what their life has amounted
to so far. They may even open up enough to acknowledge occasional thoughts of
wanting to hurt themselves or even thoughts of death. They may talk about
finding happiness or a better path in the journey of life. These kinds of
topics may be a sign that a person is struggling internally with darker
thoughts that they dare not share.
4.
They may put out a cry for help, only to take it back.
People
with hidden depression struggle fiercely with keeping it hidden. Sometimes,
they give up the struggle to conceal their true feelings and so they tell
someone about it. They may even take the first step and make an appointment
with a doctor or therapist, and a handful will even will make it to the first session.
But then they wake up the next day and realize they’ve gone too far. Seeking
out help for their depression would be admitting they truly are depressed. That
is an acknowledgment that many people with concealed depression struggle with
and cannot make. Nobody else is allowed to see their weakness.
5.
They feel things more intensely than normal.
A
person with masked depression often feels emotions more intensely than others.
This might come across as someone who doesn’t normally cry while watching a TV
show or movie suddenly breaks out in tears during a poignant scene. Or someone
who doesn’t normally get angry about anything suddenly gets very mad at a
driver who cut them off in traffic. Or someone who doesn’t usually express terms
of endearment suddenly is telling you that they love you. It’s like by keeping
their depressive feelings all boxed up, other feelings leak out around the
edges more easily.
6.
They may look at things with a less optimistic point of view than usual.
This
is depressive realism when such individuals appear to have a more
realistic picture of the world around them. For instance, while normal people are
usually more optimistic about life circumstances, those attempting to conceal
depression may say things like “Well, I’m up for that promotion again, but I
doubt I’ll get it.”In our own environment they may be more involved in overt religiously
prescribed problem-solving approaches to the detriment of their overall quality
of life.
If
anyone fits into any of these complaints, it is advisable to visit a psychiatrist
or any mental health expert for effective intervention to prevent suicide.
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